She says...

"what do you think of guys that go find prostitute?"

One day, one of my girl friend asked me this question. I was taken aback for awhile while thinking of how I would react if it happens to me though I kinda have this kind of experience before.

Years back, one of my ex-boyfriend told me or confessed to me that he did went prostitution before even he's in the relationship with me. He told me that after we broke up. I was damn furious inside but I tried to act cool as if it doesn't matter anymore since we broken up. I still can ask him tons of questions because I'm curious and angry at the same time like I'm just his friend. Then months later we got back together after knowing what he have done. What was I thinking then? Hmmm...love is blind?Haha. But in the end, our relationship didn't last for more than 2 years if I'm not mistaken.

I moved on, met a lot of people, old and young, experienced and inexperienced, some were old but still act like a kid...different different types of people,different cultures, different mentality, different exposures and so much more. Sometimes when I think back, I realized its quite interesting and funny at times. Of course I learned from experiences, some were life stories from others, some from newspaper/magazine articles, blogs, facebook and etc.

After all these while changed how I used to think. I sort of perceived myself that all men do have the possibilities to go for prostitution or cheat or just flirts unless you are lucky enough to find one that doesn't. What can you do to stop men from all these temptation? Lock them up? Cut their kukuciao off? *this is exactly what I asked my friend* Hehe.. Then my friend told me 'sometimes she rather be single to avoid all these from happening'. So I told her, 'what if all the men in the world cheats or go for prostitute? Are you gonna be single forever? And do you think being a lesbian by force will change anything?' The answer is NO. You will probably end up in cheating your lesbian partner with another guy instead. No matter how hurt you are, with all the dramas of fighting, wanna kill yourself or wanna kill him or that bitch, it will only stop him if he dies, or else he would apologize and just hide it from you in a smarter way so you won't find out the next time. Or he will probably just leave you or if he love you enough probably he will change. Who knows. But really...what can you do to stop all these? Yes, you can choose to leave him but think again, how many times you wanna leave your relationship after years of building it up? Asking that question myself..I really don't know.

I've seen wives who can act like nothing happened although they are hurting inside yet they never leave their husband who cheats, some even accept the mistress or girlfriend or second wife if you wanna call it. But luckily their husband are wealthy, they can go shopping, pamper themselves with their husband's money and some even get a toy boy themselves.

Of course it's easier said than done although I'm being quite positive right now but definitely, for sure I'll get furious and upset, I'll probably go nuts as well, like how my girl friend told me. I'll probably get mad and whack the hell of out him but except for myself to feel better what can I change? I can't change what has happened, it's either I leave him or I'll have to accept fate and keep hoping and praying that he will change or should I just act stupid or just don't care about him and make him feel guilty.Hmmm......

~JeSsC~

Sweet Escape to Da Nang and Hoi An

After a long wait for our vacay, with lots of setbacks before, we finally made it to Da Nang-Hoi An, Vietnam. I'll just gonna summarize this whole post as I don't want it to be too lengthy to read.

Personally I think, Hoi An or the Ancient Town of Hoi An especially, I felt like I went back to China. Lots of temples, architectures and arts does looks like it was built by Chinese, which Vietnamese will say it's originally from Vietnamese or Vietnam architect. Their culture and some of their language does sound like Chinese dialect. In fact, the name Hoi An means 'peaceful sea' or 'peaceful meeting place' according to Wikipedia. No offense to the Vietnamese though, it's just what I felt when I'm there.

So anyways, go back to the trip. Well in short, Da Nang was pretty relax I would say, not much of entertainment but you gotta walk a lot. You can always take the cab but do check the map first before deciding as some attraction or places are actually quite near to walk. Best to use your smartphone or iphone GPS. Do get the local simcard in town, it's damn cheap for their 'Data Only' simcards and you can use it for a week unlimited, costs about less than USD$3.

Da Nang
Visits - We went to Cham Museum we arrived the first day. Unless you're a very big fan of sculptures, this will be the ideal place to be. Me and my boyfriend don't really enjoy it though.

Cham Museum

Us at Cham Museum

Food - We went to a local seafood restaurant in Da Nang town, we ordered a hot and spicy crab, spicy frog and a few cans of beer (Thanks to some local sitting next table who barely speaks English) and it only costs us less than USD$12. Communicating with them does gives us some hard time, especially when their Menu is all in Vietnamese even using the universal sign language-pointing here and there on other people's table to order what we saw its nice. It does looks rude but that's the only way we can deal with the communication problem.

Hoa Tu Seafood Restaurant

Spicy Frog

Hot and spicy crab

We went to a cafe nearby our hotel-less than 10 minutes walk. Its called Lu Cafe. We tried their yogurt coffee and it was great. Should give it a try.

At Lu Cafe

Traveling - The next day we took a cab from our Dai A Hotel in Da Nang to Hoi An. We asked the hotel to arranged it for us and it's only USD$15. If you get public cab will costs you around USD$20. Its a Toyota Vios and it's quite comfy.

Accommodation -  We stayed at Dai A Hotel as I mentioned earlier. Overall the hotel is not bad. Spacious room(we booked the family room with 2 queen-sized bed, supposed to go with another friend), it's actually some shop building turned hotel. Cleanliness was okay, old furnitures, free wifi and their breakfast was acceptable(for Asians). It just for a night so it doesn't really matter and the price are pretty reasonable as well.

Hoi An
Visits -  
Ancient Town of Hoi An, unless you never been to China or Malacca aka Melaka in Malaysia, it's probably worth visiting, lots of temples and museums to visit. For us Malaysian, it's like we're visiting Malacca Jonker Street. Entry fee : 90,000vnd (entry for 5 attractions).
Hoi An Fabric Market, where you can tailor-made all your suits or dresses. We went to a few stalls to make different things to try it out. Well we found out that they actually send it to the same group of tailors to do it, it all turns out to be the same, is just that you have to bargain the prices till you think it's worth it. I've made a pencil skirt for USD$12, a chiffon dinner dress for USD$30, cashmere high-waisted pants for USD$25 and a cotton white shirt for USD$15. My boyfriend made a pair of suit for only USD$75 which is less than RM250. The only stall I can remember the name is Miss-Forget-Me-Not, workmanship is good but they refused to listen to you when you want to alter something, maybe it just me, cos I studied fashion and I told her how the dress slit should be done, probably she felt offended, end up the slit doesn't goes the way I want it to. If not much of alteration to be done, you can get your suits or dresses in 24 hours.
My Son Tour- Overall it was okay but one advice though-never ever take the boat ride back to Hoi An town. I repeat NEVER!Yes, lunch is provided but the food they served is a plate of rice topped with some stir-fried vegetables with no meat or fish or whatever and that's it.

A bottle of mineral water and a slice of watermelon. I don't think its even worth that USD$3 we paid. They will stopped by a village for us to visit the carpentry. No explanation or information given by the tour guide, we just look around as they are selling souvenirs as well, probably they are just hoping that some of us will buy. Not good-waste of time.
Hoi An Free Bicycle Tour- Indeed it was a fruitful one and it's FREE!This free tour is organized by a group of university students who wished to practice and master their English. They are very friendly and helpful. They explained everything in detail, much more worth it compared to those tour that you paid for.

Food - We went to Hai Scout Cafe. Food was good, we ordered the seafood hot pot and Cao Lau. Service is excellent, their waiter and waitresses are very helpful and friendly. White Rose dish is a MUST TRY! Me and my boyfriend love it, you can get it nearly in all the restaurant or cafes in Hoi An. Our last night dinner was Cua Dai beach, restaurant no.3,food was cheap and nice.

Traveling - We rent the bicycles to go around. Be careful when you are crossing the road. The traffic lights only work in the evening. If you were to go to the beach, take a cab or rent a motorbike cos it could be a long ride for you to cycle.

Accommodation - We stayed at Thanh Binh 3 for 3 nights. Reasonable priced. Breakfast is the same every single day. There's a pool but it looks like they hardly maintain it. We decided to go a little luxurious on our last night of our trip so we choose Hoi An Beach Resort. We got our room facing the river and walking distant to their so-called private beach across the road. We love our stay and would probably come back again.

some wine by the river outside our villa

This come to the end of my post. Personally I think a 4days 3nights trip is more than enough (ours is 6days 5nights) but with the amount of time we spend we can actually make another short trip to Hue as well. Due to tight budget we stick with Da Nang and Hoi An only.


~JeSsC~

Obviously I got nothing to do..:p

Training in Sitiawan is coming to an end real soon! :D

Not that I don't like to be back home but life back here is pretty boring. No happy hour after work and people here are quite B.O.R.I.N.G. Wanna wear a little bit prettier, skirt one palm above the knee also get all those aunties and pervert uncle eyes looking at you one kind. My casual make up with eyeliner also consider as heavy make up,I'm like - whaattt?!.And those killer heels that I brought back is still in the luggage bag. -_-"

Apart from all that, life back home are I can say-peaceful. I got homecooked food and soups. No jams,no queues...just lots of traffic lights and tortoises on the road. I honked quite a lot when I'm driving here.

And today, I'm craving for TGI Friday's buffalo wings. I miss KL so much. Thank God Cherry is here with me for this week.

~JeSsC~

Its a self-advisory post v1.

Misery never seems to even think of breaking up with me after a few attempts of me trying to, till a state where one of my friend even asked me when she can get my reply saying that 'I'm good' in a delightful way when she asked 'How are you?'. Well I wished my dear.

After a number of rejections, controversies and misconceptions happened for the past few months, well not that I've never been misconceived before but lately it got worst. I know I'm responsible for my actions that took them that way but I am just being myself, expressing what I feel and doing what I feel like doing as long as I know where my limit is.

I somehow realized as the world evolves we no longer live for ourselves, we live to impress people, to impose ourselves to be what and how people would like us to be. Is this how it should be? And what if you don't? With the technology and the power of social networks these days, within seconds you could be down to nothing or you suddenly become famous either in a good way or bad.

As much as you don't want to care somehow it will still effect you. So how? Lock yourself up, stay at home and not see anyone? NO! Just be yourself. If they can't accept you for who you are, what for you hold on to them. Just smile and spend the rest of the day being yourself without feeling guilty to yourself. :)

Disclaimer : This post is not about anyone. Don't perasan and think this post is about you. #justsaying

~JeSsC~

What if...

I'm sure a lot of people have questioned themselves 'What if..' at least once in their lifetime. So do I. I've made lots of mistakes in life. Bad decisions. Sometimes Influenced. Took lots of risk. Failed lots of time.

What if I've continue to pursue in my studies?

What if I've never joined AA?

What if I've never quit AA?

What if I didn't take the job offer from E?

What if I never quit E?

What if I never meet those people I've met?

What if ......

I guess only God has the answers to all these questions. Sometimes I regret sometimes I don't. Whether or not, all of these taught me a lesson-somehow or rather.

Well AA taught well on me how to take shits, the long hours, the packed roster, how to be 'fake', what's the meaning of 'don't judge a book by it's cover' literally, how to apologize just for the sake of it, how to not trust people, how materialistic and how mean this world can be *or maybe just in Malaysia*. No matter how bad the experience were, I had to admit it made me a stronger and a much mature person now.

My ex-manager once told me the reason why he hired me, he said 'ex-stewardess take a lot of shit from people, its not an easy job to handle so many people at the same time'. True. I left AA with no experience at all, as in career related, and I joined E as a Account/Client Servicing Executive. Everything was new to me except for handling client part but these kinda client were totally different. It was hard to cope in the beginning, made lots of mistakes, disappoint lots of people/colleagues but thank God I have good colleagues and my ex-boss who gave me lots of opportunity to learn, forgave me and never ever stop teaching me, not only work related, even life philosophy, general knowledge. But unfortunately life has never been good to me every since I left AA-financially, been struggling my whole year and then I decided to go back to flying.

I've tried Korean Air, I get through the final round and went for medical check-up all the way in Seoul. Sad to say, I failed the last round. I know you guys might be thinking - drugs?! Hell NO! and the reason they gave me is that I'm not tall enough and I actually passed the first round of physical test during the first interview. How STUPID is that?! And I've already tender my resignation. I know I can always take it back but I decided not to.

Then I went to SIA interview, passed everything except for the skin check, AGAIN!Sighh....wanted to try the other middle east airlines but I gave up. Went to a few company for interview, luckily all the company that I went to consider in hiring me but I rejected all of them. I decided to wait.

3 months later, I started with my new job. So here I am, new job new industry. Good luck and all the best to me.

~JeSsC~

Somebody that you used to know..

Sometimes is because of distance, sometimes is because of self-esteem and sometimes is because of respect that you can’t be with the person you loved. Tried to stay friends but you realize that you cared too much and you will get jealous when you see them with other person. Tried to move on with someone else but you can’t open up yourself and you don’t have that amount of feelings to give in.

You know that things can't be like this all the time, so you slowly drift apart, came out with some stupid arguement so that you both get really angry and then not see each other again. Months passed, every little thing you do, everywhere you go and everything you see..its all about that someone that you used to know. When you bumped into each other, you acted like nothing happened, just like friends but inside of you, you're dying to tell that someone you used to know how much you missed them...like crazy. Even more heartbreaking that you see it in their eyes that they missed you too..

P.s: Go watch movie like ‘Like Crazy’ to ‘One Day’ and lastly a Cantonese love movie ‘Romancing in thin air’

~JeSsC~

Taking the next step..

Lately, going to work is such a dreadful thing to do. I just feel like staying at home and spend time with Cherry. Going to work doesn't excite me anymore, I don't feel motivated. Its gonna be a year now by month end. I'd decided to leave this company since January, my birthday, my most memorable day, the one I will remember for life, the day I was supposed to be happy, the day where I was blamed that 90% of the mistake was mine. I was heartbroken. Nope I didn't cry, I strongly hold my tears back and forced a smile on my face. I went back to my desk and quickly opened Microsoft Words...and I don't know how to start. Then I think again and I closed the window. 

Weeks passed, I applied for a few jobs. None called. After about a month plus, some company that I didn't apply for actually called me to go for interview. One even offered me a very attractive package and wants me to start immediately but I told them I'll think about it. They called me every week to ask if I'm interested. At last I rejected the offer.

15 days more it's gonna be my second interview for Korean Air. Yup, the airlines. How much I hated Air Asia but I missed the night stops and the advantages of cheap air tickets. Why I choose Korean Air is because it is based in KL so that I won't miss home, family and friends, clubs and parties. LOL. Well I'm excited...nervous, don't know what the future may bring, don't know whether am I doing the right decision. But then again,you never try you will never know. Just go with the flow, be stronger than ever and enjoy every single moment of it, I will never know that I might learn something out of it, good or bad, my choice, my decision and I will have to bear the consequences. 

So please pray for me for those who is reading my blog.

~JeSsC~

It's easy to say..

disappointment

When everyone is disappointed with me, the more I am disappointed with myself.

I cried alone sitting in the parking lot. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. I feel so useless. I feel so worthless. I feel so stupid.

Why everyone put so much hope on me when I don't even have hopes on myself? Why have so much expectation on me when I always let you down? Why give me the chance when I don't even want the chance to live? Why love me when I only love myself more than anyone else?

So tired of being strong all the time..

I feel like taking some time off and be alone. So tired to force a smile on my face. So tired of being nice. So tired of acting like nothing happened. So tired of holding the tears in my eyes.

I'm totally disappointed with myself. I feel like giving up and I always think of giving up but I don't have the strength and the courage to.

What's wrong with me? Why am I being such a fool? Why am I so stupid? Why am I so useless?!

I think I've made a lot of people disappointed as well. I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry to myself too.