Stress-free

At perth now.Long stay again.This is my 2nd time now but this time I like to spend my time alone.

Spend the 1st day with a few colleagues,walked to Harbour Town.It was much colder than I expected when there's wind blows.Came back early to the hotel room,wanted to watched tv but something went wrong with the tv.The cute receptionist tried to fix it but still cannot watch,he felt bad so he gave me and my room mate complimentary breakfast to compensate.Slept early,woke up a few times in between to call my love and the bed was quite warm so I woke up to get some air.

Woke up early to go for breakfast with another colleague cos my room mate is fasting.Its a normal buffet english breakfast.Took us about 2 hours to go back up to the room cos we were chatting looking out the street and enjoyed the feeling.It was really a different feeling waking up early to have breakfast in a cold weather country.Its so laid back and relax.Looking at those people walking on the street on their way to their work place,took their own sweet time with no sense of urgency no stress faces no traffic jams and they looked so fresh not like what you can see in KL.Same goes like what I can see in Melbourne the last time I was there.I don't need to be worried that I'm walking alone on the street no one will look at me or give me that kind of 'look' even when I'm jogging or cycling.

I really wish I could migrate to this places.One day.Despite their racism.

Gonna go out alone now..look around myself.Ciaoz

~JeSsC~

I thought you were stronger than this..

This is the second blog I wrote for the night.I have morning flight and yet I'm still awake.The feeling of sleeping with someone and you can feel the distance...is like so near yet so far.

I was told not to publicize my personal life but I just don't know where to let it go.Its like there's a huge gigantic rock in my heart that I could not let go.Everything seems to fall apart seems like falling on me that I cannot take that impact on me.

I downed two glasses of white wine and a shot of whisky and I don't even feel high at all so that I could sleep.

After so long,I thought I wouldn't do that to myself anymore and this time.....I repeated doing the same thing again,trying to control myself hurting myself lesser this time because I know I got someone to live for someone I always think he's the one and someone I want to die only in his arms-only if he knows.

I tried to cry it out I tried to shout.....I just couldn't I don't know why.I wish I could say how I am feeling now out loud but there's no one here to listen to me.

Jessica Chen, I thought you were stronger than this.

~JeSsC~

Shallow!

Been busy for some updates lately or should I say my mind is TOO OCCUPIED by too many unwanted thoughts or things that happened lately.

There is this new friend I gotta know few weeks back when I was at a bar(without my boyfriend).After getting know each other,we add each other into our facebook.After that night,we met back again like after a week or so.

He found out that I have a boyfriend via facebook(not I don't want to tell him,he just didn't ask).Bla bla bla chit chat and all that suddenly he said I'm not a good girl(okay I was suprised).Then I asked why.He was quite reluctant to tell me until I forced him to.He said he saw all my clubbing pictures etc. etc and even read my blog and even my old blog!I was like 'so?' and he said 'aiyah...just be more obedient lah your boyfriend seems like a very good guy and you shouldn't do all this'.So I raised my voice a little and I ask DO WHAT?! and he just kept quiet.

Hello?!who the fuck are you to judge who am I by just looking at my pictures and blogs and my ex-boyfriends?!How you know that I AM that kind of person?!

Then he started changing his words...Oh no lah I think you're not that kind of person also,you're not that bad.

Fuck you lah!What NOT THAT BAD?!knnccb!

Stop stalking me you ASSHOLE!

~JeSsC~